Reviews Are In. Ya Suck. Don't Give Up Your Day Job.

(Usually I cross post from here, to my FB page. Today is ass backwards day. Yea. But I am adding to my remarks, there. Anyway . . .)

One of the non stories of the past couple weeks involved some ding bat blonde Cali Girl at UCLA who thought it would be appropriate (if not funny) to post an anti Asian rant on You Tube. It went viral, but not the the way she hoped.

Most Hated Blonde Chick in the USA (After Ann Coulter, likely.)

From the article:


"In a statement to the Daily Bruin campus newspaper, Alexandra Wallace said she has chosen to no longer attend classes at UCLA because of what she called "the harassment of my family, the publishing of my personal information, death threats and being ostracized from an entire community" in the wake of the three-minute video.

"In an attempt to produce a humorous YouTube video, I have offended the UCLA community and the entire Asian culture," Wallace said in the statement, her second apology of the week. "Especially in the wake of the ongoing disaster in Japan, I would do anything to take back my insensitive words. I could write apology letters all day and night, but I know they wouldn't erase the video from your memory, nor would they act to reverse my inappropriate action.""


Naturally, I did not even watch the video. Why ingest that poison? Why smell the thing you are already know stinks? But I love the outcome of this story -- except for the death threats. That's uncalled for. But let me break this down.

Ok. The chicklet in question claims she did that as an attempt at humor? Well honey. Here's the rule in comedy. If you dare to offend, you very well might offend. That's why comedians who have a bad set say they,"Died out there."

Reviews are in. Ya suck. Don't give up your day job.

Beyond that general rule of comedy, ya had to go for the racist joke? Ya had to go with that, not making fun of people like you, who look like you. You had to go all racist, ya know, you being a blonde white American, picking on any one else?

I repeat. Reviews are in honey. Ya suck. Don't give up your day job.

Beyond that, dismissing as bullshit your "attempt at humor" defense. All you did was give voice to a bundle of stereotyped, bigoted, anti Asian, racist sentiments. Let's be real.

That kinda shit used to pass for humor in the USA . . . . thirty years before you were born.

Here I am going further afield, and these are some of my pet peeve theories. And I am going to curse, more so for the joy in doing so, but hey, I am using them for the purpose of injecting some emotional emphasis to my words. Here goes.

Motherfuckers need to learn that speech ain't free. Speech has a price. At minimum, the price is you will be judged on the content and nature of your speech, and perhaps harshly.

Motherfuckers need to learn that if they are not already honing their stand up routine on the circuit, even if only at one local club, they should not think they are funny, no matter how many friends say they are. Never minding if one is a sorta fine looking Cali Blonde, and all the guys are kissing her back side, to get at the front side.

Motherfuckers need to know that if at the base line, any attempt to communicate any message has a built in risk factor, cracking jokes has a much greater risk factor.

Motherfuckers need to know that the do not have a right to be loved by The Masses. The Masses is a dangerous, fickle beastie. Trying to get love from that beastie will likely get you "killed," not in the literal sense, but in the metaphoric sense that comedians use to describe a bad turn on stage.

Motherfuckers need to know that the beastie knows as "The Masses" takes on a more vicious nature, in the virtual world of the Internet.

Motherfuckers need to learn they are not really good at some shit. Or more importantly, they need to know how much they suck.

Motherfuckers need to know that even if in this age, TV is dominated by untalented, insane, nasty, fucked up specimens of humanity, that unless and until they sign a contract with a production company, they are still just unfunny, untalented, nobodies.

You can try to launch your career on the Internet. But as someone who was a theatre major, finished the program and actually worked in the industry can say, most motherfuckers crash and burn. It was that way before the Internet, and it still is that way now.

Oh. and lastly, motherfuckers need to know that, call them race based jokes, or blatantly racist jokes. Playing with that shit is like juggling hand grenades. Don't be surprised if all you do is blow your own shit up. Or off. Metaphorically speaking, of course.