A Quickie on Trust and Judgment
Like usual, it took me some time to actually think of a theme, or to say it more specifically, it took me some time to pluck something out of the whirlwind that is my mind, and decide to use that as my point of departure.
So it will be trust and judgment.
Like many if not most people, I trust my judgment. But (I guess) unlike many if not most, I am deeply and seriously distrustful. Not paranoid . . . everyone is out to get me, distrustful. I like to think of it as a practicality/human nature based distrustfulness. To explain, I don't really think most folk are wicked, or bad. But I expect folk to be (a) human, and therefore (b) at least somewhat, if not greatly self-directed, self-interested, if not basically selfish. So I don't think random people are out to get me, as much as they likely are out to get all they can for themselves, and as a result of that, I am therefore nothing more than a possible source of some form of gratification for them ( at worst, but usually to some variable extent, I think that is how humans act and interact.)
Therefore, I am at minimum a tad leery of people's motives from the get-go. I can take that line of thinking so far that I do not believe there is, as a practical matter, a truly selfless act or actor. Even when people do selfless things, they (ya would guess) get something out of it, right? If not the positive good feeling of doing for others, at least the grudging sense they have done the right thing, or at least a good thing, or impressed someone, if not a living human, maybe God.
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that if anyone seems to be doing a NICE for me, I am cynically thinking . . . "Are they doing this to make me feel good, or them?"
I am just making the observation that, total selfness seems to be myth, with our species, in my opinion.
Anyway, I am cynical.
But that part covers the basics of trust. Well, at least my operative bias. Just to be plain, when I do trust people, I tend to do it very deeply. I am not likely to place much trust in any person until I have a good, deep understanding of their personality. And I mean, their strengths and weaknesses of character. At that point I can think . . . I know this person's nature. I know they have a range of traits. I know their emotional range. And I know how far they can and will go on questions of morality, conduct (and that would be within context.) I know if they are basically decent, or have a mean streak that needs to be fed, regardless of any external and obvious provocation (actual or even perceived threat to their normal sense of self or personhood.) I know that on a bad day they might tell me to Eff-off and Die, but I can tell when they meant it, or not. I can tell when they are acting out of then-immediate emotional disturbance. And I can tell when they are sincerely affectionate.
When I know enough to know all that, usually that is when serious trust kicks in.
Less than that? If that point has not been met yet? I can't say that I do not trust anyone at all, but personally, I only trust them as well as I seem to know them.
Oh, and that sort of bled into the issue of judgment (as my ordinary process of judgment is stated fairly plainly above.) And because I am so slow to trust, usually, and because I wait till I know enough of the facts, and only ratchet up trust as my databank increases, by large degrees, I think my judgment is usually reliable (or at least keeps me from trusting the wrong people) 98% of the time.
However, years ago I learned that that 2% error margin can kill a person.
(Ya ya I clearly ain't dead, but I think you get my meaning.)
So it will be trust and judgment.
Like many if not most people, I trust my judgment. But (I guess) unlike many if not most, I am deeply and seriously distrustful. Not paranoid . . . everyone is out to get me, distrustful. I like to think of it as a practicality/human nature based distrustfulness. To explain, I don't really think most folk are wicked, or bad. But I expect folk to be (a) human, and therefore (b) at least somewhat, if not greatly self-directed, self-interested, if not basically selfish. So I don't think random people are out to get me, as much as they likely are out to get all they can for themselves, and as a result of that, I am therefore nothing more than a possible source of some form of gratification for them ( at worst, but usually to some variable extent, I think that is how humans act and interact.)
Therefore, I am at minimum a tad leery of people's motives from the get-go. I can take that line of thinking so far that I do not believe there is, as a practical matter, a truly selfless act or actor. Even when people do selfless things, they (ya would guess) get something out of it, right? If not the positive good feeling of doing for others, at least the grudging sense they have done the right thing, or at least a good thing, or impressed someone, if not a living human, maybe God.
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that if anyone seems to be doing a NICE for me, I am cynically thinking . . . "Are they doing this to make me feel good, or them?"
I am just making the observation that, total selfness seems to be myth, with our species, in my opinion.
Anyway, I am cynical.
But that part covers the basics of trust. Well, at least my operative bias. Just to be plain, when I do trust people, I tend to do it very deeply. I am not likely to place much trust in any person until I have a good, deep understanding of their personality. And I mean, their strengths and weaknesses of character. At that point I can think . . . I know this person's nature. I know they have a range of traits. I know their emotional range. And I know how far they can and will go on questions of morality, conduct (and that would be within context.) I know if they are basically decent, or have a mean streak that needs to be fed, regardless of any external and obvious provocation (actual or even perceived threat to their normal sense of self or personhood.) I know that on a bad day they might tell me to Eff-off and Die, but I can tell when they meant it, or not. I can tell when they are acting out of then-immediate emotional disturbance. And I can tell when they are sincerely affectionate.
When I know enough to know all that, usually that is when serious trust kicks in.
Less than that? If that point has not been met yet? I can't say that I do not trust anyone at all, but personally, I only trust them as well as I seem to know them.
Oh, and that sort of bled into the issue of judgment (as my ordinary process of judgment is stated fairly plainly above.) And because I am so slow to trust, usually, and because I wait till I know enough of the facts, and only ratchet up trust as my databank increases, by large degrees, I think my judgment is usually reliable (or at least keeps me from trusting the wrong people) 98% of the time.
However, years ago I learned that that 2% error margin can kill a person.
(Ya ya I clearly ain't dead, but I think you get my meaning.)
posted by Abstentus at 4:56 PM
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