Taking Another Crack at the Internet
I have derided the Internet before, and will likely again in the future (I guess you could say that I have at best an "I use it and do not love it"/often hate it, relationship with The Goddess of Cyberspace. Or maybe I should not describe the Net as a goddess, but instead as a Street Corner Crack-Ho. See what I mean?)
Anyway, I have been loathing it again, recently. Now as far as my blog goes, this is a new way of describing it, metaphorically, although it has been in my mind for a few weeks. Time to let it out of there, I suppose.
The Internet is like a shopping mall.
Nooooo . . . . not the nice, new, shiny, pretty one, in the good part of town, with the clean well lit parking lot, and plenty of good sized parking spaces, and visible security, and helpful staff, and full of good smells.
Not THAT ONE.
No, the Internet is like the shopping mall that is in the bad, sleazy part of town. The one where the parking lot is filthy, the security guards (if any are there) look sorta dodgey themselves, and broken lights, when you see any lightposts at all, and has those rotten little parking spaces that you'd be lucky to shoe-horn a VW Bug into. The mall where the stores are badly lit and staffed by unhelpful if not downright NASTY staff. And it is the one that when it is mentioned on the news, it is not a fluffy community interest piece because of some neat event or appearance, but because of the latest carjacking or mugging. It is the mall you usually will not go to, unless there is something that you can only get there, that you just can't find anywhere else, close, and need to get your hands on, fast.
Yes, the Internet is that shopping mall; the crummy, scummy one.
And before anyone tags me, saying then why are you on the internet so much if at all?
My reply:
"Hey, I have been known to shop in the crummy, scummy shopping mall. It is the closest one to me. Hey, that is where I will likely finish up my X-mas shopping. I am not going to drive all the way to the Woodbridge mall (but ohh . . . that is a nice one!) Hell, I won't even drive out to Paramus. That one is definitely crummy/scummy-ish, these days, and much more of a pain in the ass to drive to, then the one in Jersey City."
Anyway, I have been loathing it again, recently. Now as far as my blog goes, this is a new way of describing it, metaphorically, although it has been in my mind for a few weeks. Time to let it out of there, I suppose.
The Internet is like a shopping mall.
Nooooo . . . . not the nice, new, shiny, pretty one, in the good part of town, with the clean well lit parking lot, and plenty of good sized parking spaces, and visible security, and helpful staff, and full of good smells.
Not THAT ONE.
No, the Internet is like the shopping mall that is in the bad, sleazy part of town. The one where the parking lot is filthy, the security guards (if any are there) look sorta dodgey themselves, and broken lights, when you see any lightposts at all, and has those rotten little parking spaces that you'd be lucky to shoe-horn a VW Bug into. The mall where the stores are badly lit and staffed by unhelpful if not downright NASTY staff. And it is the one that when it is mentioned on the news, it is not a fluffy community interest piece because of some neat event or appearance, but because of the latest carjacking or mugging. It is the mall you usually will not go to, unless there is something that you can only get there, that you just can't find anywhere else, close, and need to get your hands on, fast.
Yes, the Internet is that shopping mall; the crummy, scummy one.
And before anyone tags me, saying then why are you on the internet so much if at all?
My reply:
"Hey, I have been known to shop in the crummy, scummy shopping mall. It is the closest one to me. Hey, that is where I will likely finish up my X-mas shopping. I am not going to drive all the way to the Woodbridge mall (but ohh . . . that is a nice one!) Hell, I won't even drive out to Paramus. That one is definitely crummy/scummy-ish, these days, and much more of a pain in the ass to drive to, then the one in Jersey City."
posted by Abstentus at 8:07 AM
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