Delay Indicted.

I will skip the usual crappy newsy details. You can find that all over the web. Instead, I will talk about that sneaky and vile semi-vertebrate species:

Republicanus Felonious.


According to my uncle, Professor Frivolaria, who holds the Munchausen Chair in the Department of Histronic Zoology at Satire State College:

"If you ever get the chance to see Republicanus Felonious on the hunt, seizing its prey, and feeding, it is a spectacle that puts this observer, at least, in mind of a full-sized Indian Elephant on a crack cocaine fueled rampage through a fancy China Shop.

I have never seen a species so reckless in its greed. It is a wonder they have not died out millenia ago, with the way they gorge and gorge on their prey. Biology, however, does answer the question of how they can gorge so gluttonously and not choke to death, in droves. Apparently their throats are similar to the that of constrictors. It will expand to meet the volume. And apparently the species has learned quite well how to breathe through its nose as it is in the process of forcing down excessive amounts of it's kill. If there ever was a species that deserved the reputation of being a Land Shark, Republicanus Felonious would be my choice for it."

"The Species that Should be Endangered, But Isn't. Republicanus Felonious, in the Wild, It's Habits and Self-Destructive Impulses."

By Ian Frivolaria, PhD. (Satire State College Press. 1979.)