Sunday, June 12, 2011

Why Does the Internet Suck so Much?

(Semi misanthropic post to follow. You have been warned!)

Ok. So I was looking on some website/blog. I won't say which, as that is unrelated to the real issue here, but it was a right winger's blog. But the blogger not only employed the expression,"Double Face Palm," but included a demotivational poster featuring STNG's Captain Picard and First Officer Riker both doing a face palm. And that reminded me about how much the Internet sucks. And I typed the sentence,"Why does the Internet have to suck so much," into Google. Turns out the first hit was about how Internet Explorer sucks, so that was no help. So I will have to answer the question myself.

The Internet sucks because there are so many lame, dim-witted people who are happy to follow what ever is the stupid shit that is appealing to the broadest swath of humanity, any given day. And that mean the Internet is driven by stupid people. I am not making a scientific case here. I am not even trying for mediocre Sociological analysis. I'm just going to wing it, and first I will list some stupid words, ideas that have flourished in the intellectual wasteland that is the Internet.

Facepalm = stupid.

Fail, Epic or otherwise = stupid.

Rickrolled = stupid.

Text shorthand = stupid.

Twitter = mostly stupid.

Virtual Community = stupid.

Cyber sex (or sexting) = stupid (even if it can be amusing and can turn a person on, it's still basically stupid.)

Blogs -- most are silly if not stupid. It all depends on whether or not the blogger is interesting. (Hint. If people in the real world do not find you interesting, you will be less so on the Internet. I can all but guarantee that part.)

This blog = often stupid.

Believing in Internet privacy = highly stupid.

Forums = nearly always stupid. Club houses with some Queen Bee or Bully making up insane rules and changing them when it suits them was stupid when we all were 11 years old. That idea just gets more stupid as we get older. I mean mature. Not at all people emotionally mature.

Photshopping = stupid.

Photoshipping actresses' heads on porno babes bodies = very very stupid.

(However, Internet porn is not really stupid. It's cheap, and plentiful, and often degrading if not warped, but not inherently stupid.)

The Cult of Free Speech = witlessly stupid. Even if you are getting free wifi you likely are paying money for something, or you are getting spammed, or even worse (I think) are those new pop up video commercials that I haven't figured out how to block yet. Either you pay up front or you pay in some other way. Speech is nether cost free nor unlimited free. Deal with it.)

And lastly . . . .LOL cats = the height of Internet Stupidity, perhaps.

That's all I've got off the top of my head. I could quickly find more, but I would have to google it, and as I am in a Really Hate the Internet mood, I don't wanna do that.

And I confess. I have addressed my hate-hate relationship with the Internet before, and that is my baseline. But over the past few days I read some (redundant, as I have read at least a dozen such pieces over the years) article quoting Robert Wright (of Blogging Heads) from years ago predicting the circle jerks and silly club houses/echo chambers that so pollute the Internet.

So that's been on my mind. But honestly, I am something of an early adopter. I have been on line since early 1997. I remember the tail end of the relatively uncommercialized free for all Wild West days. So I have seen it all. And redundantly. I think the last really new thing on the net was what? Napster? I don't consider Facebook new, in that it's not really innovative software as much as making good use out of the idea of a sub communication network running on the greater network that is the Internet. It's efficient functionality, but not new functionality. Again, I am an old timer. I remember bulletin boards, and fb is basically a network of interlinked bulletin boards.

Anyway, enough about that. I need to post this and decide whether or not I will stay on line, or read an actual ink and paper book, or just go back to bed. The latest Doctor Who has not been posted to iTunes yet, and that will be the highlight of my day.

Oh. That reminds me. What I say is the best function for the Internet is the delivery of entertainment product. Love watching movies off Netflix and iTunes. Sure is better that looking at LOL cats. But some people find that stuff entertaining.

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Blogger Cameron Eaton said...

I just typed "why does the internet suck so much" in google and this post was No. 2. How many hits has it got?

2:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the internet sucks so much, then why did you post this on the internet for people to read? With your extreme hate of the most advanced information and communication technology to date, why not complain about it in the newspaper. Then you can see how many people care about what you have to say without the assistance of the internet being able to allow anyone in the world to read it. Basically what I am saying is don't use the service you hate so much to to talk about how much you hate that service. That is kind of stupid as you like to say.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Freedoms R Nonnegotiable said...

Cause everyone is on it dumbass

3:29 PM  
Blogger Selenita said...

"If the internet sucks so much, then why did you post this on the internet?"

Perguntas que merecem um tapa na cara

7:49 PM  

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