Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Hey Lady! I Use More Energy to Roast a 4 1/2 Lb Chicken.

Shit on a shingle. I take one night off the Internet, away from my usual stops, and the natives go batshit. And of course I am talking about that law professor who's so eccentric to my mind, that I can't resist the "Rubber Necker" pull of her blog.

Today's (or make it yesterday's) freak-a-zoid post involves cooking pizza.

Yes. That's one half of it. The NYT Dining and Wine page published a recipe for pizza that required preheating the oven to 500 degrees for an hour, as prep for less than 10 minutes of cook time.

Feel free to shrug your shoulders now, and if you use your oven to roast things, do a double shrug.

Here's the other part of the bizarre equation. She tied that in with the NYT being in favor of green things generally, if not more efficient lighbulbs, specifically. Her argument was the NYT was some how hypocritical if they could on the dining and entertaining side endorse preheating an oven to 500 degrees for an hour, for less than 10 minutes of cooking, and on the other end, endorse more efficiency in lightbulbs.

And just to note it, and even if I am a notorious fan (and offender) of gratuitous use of the Eff Woid, her comment,"Shut up about my light bulbs. Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up,"is not only unhinged from anything remotely resembling earth-bound reality, but using the 'shut up' remark, makes her the hypocrite. She's the one who preaches what I call the Gospel of Free Speech. She would call it the culture of free speech. Point is, I have even been trolled by her husband over my comments about her free speech bullshit. I told her husband (at least said in that thread) I think my right to tell people to shut the fuck up is a superior thing than any (culture of) Gospel of free speech.

It's deliciously ironic to see her play it my way. But still, I must call her out for hypocrisy in behaving consistently with my values instead of hers.

But that is not even the point. The free speech hypocrisy angle did not come to me until I started typing this post.

So let me link the shit now.

Free Speech Hypocrisy and an Irrational Slam Against the NYT Over Pizza.

And now we get to my non partisan, non political, non ideologically driven counter argument to her unhinged, illogical argument. When I read the part about preheat 500 degrees for an hour, and then the bullshit about that being such a waste of energy, my thought was,"What the fuck. I burn more energy roasting a 4 1/2 lbs chicken." And I checked my (god knows 50 year old) Good Housekeeping Cookbook. For a chicken weighing between 4 to 5 lbs, the roasting chart recommends 43 minutes per lb, @ 325 degrees.

That's almost 3 and a half hours cook time for a standard, small roast chicken.

So again I say, Ms. Althouse . . . What The Fuck is your Point?

Naturally, her minions in the commentary section were all stiff and sticky over this post. And I have gone longer with this than it deserves, but I will make the comparison to the mindless shit that I experienced when I was still wasting my time arguing with wing nuts on message boards. Some people are just so fucking stupid and so eager to land/score an imaginary point against their partisan, ideological rivals, they will sink to any depth of illogic and witlessness in that quest. Now I can not say I have had this particular shit thrown at me, but in the quest to score an imaginary point I have seen wing nuts ignore the commonly understood meanings of common vernacular metaphors on the level of,"It's raining cats and dogs." Now what Althouse is doing here is not exactly the same, but it clearly is a 'What The Fuck do you pretend to mean there' moment. Running an oven for an hour makes someone a green living hypocrite? What the fuck!

Edit to Add:

From one point of view, and that would be the one Ms. Althouse is/was totally blind to, one should view this recipe more as having a total 1 hr 8 minutes cook time than an 8 minute cook time. Puts the thing in proper perspective if you accept that the time it takes to get the oven up to proper temperature and heat state is every bit as important as the time the food is in the oven. But that would negate her silly argument, wouldn't it?

Similarly, just over the weekend, I was visiting family and I heard about what happened on one of those cooking contest shows that I usually miss. It was about the one with the ordinary people trying to cross over to professional status. Anyway, the contestants had one hour to cook a whole chicken. One of the contestants who advanced to the next round employed the following trick. First thing she did after they started the clock was to turn the oven up to full. That's how she guaranteed she would have a fully cooked chicken within the time limit. I think they call that technique blast roasting.

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