Thursday, May 12, 2011

Thank You Lord, for Making Me NOT Be a Republican.

An ex friend who who turned on me like a rabbit with rabies, once said to me words to the effect that one of the reasons I was a liberal was I did not want to be seen with the uncool kids.

Ya think?

Anyway this nontroversey, or should we call it a FauxNewsTraversey, concerning virtually unknown rapper Common is bringing out the totally unhip conservatives. Case in point, Mrs. Palin, in yet another of her moronic diatribes continues the wing nut meme about how this unknown, and actually quite tame rapper is some kinda gangsta rapper. That's just so close to being a flat out lie, that she and anyone repeating that line of bullshit should be considered and called a flat out liar. But beyond the morality, or lack of it, issue, is the unhipness factor.

Now I am quoting from the Huffpo article and I will do it as exactly as I can. Here's what the square lady said.

"I'm not anti-rap. In fact, like Bret Baier, I know the lyrics to 'Rapper's Delight,' too. But I am saying just common decency in the White House -- wouldn't we like to see a reflection of all that is wonderful and great, a shining city on a hill that the White House is supposed to be, with events inside of that house that reflect the patriotism and the decency and the influence of America."

She Might Not Be On Crack, But She Be Wack!

Firstly, Bret Baier as a barometer of hip? Whatssamatter? Was Howdy Doody all booked up? Next, the creepy-weird Ronald Reagany reference. (And wasn't the Reagan metaphor the whole nation, not the White House?) Honey, when you claim to be all for "free speech" but then tell people what they should be (or should not be) booking as their acts, you are being the worst kind of censor there is: a hypocrite. I've attacked Ann Althouse for that hypocritical shit. And I agree with her, maybe as much as one out of a hundred times. I'll not hold back on calling Mrs. Palin a hypocrite for such a patently obvious instance of pure hypocrisy. It's like when the person starts off saying,"With all due respect . . . ," and then they let loose with a stream, a litany, a shopping list of disrespectful statements. (Before I get back to the main topic, I will repeat in sum, what I said to Ann Althouse's husband when he took issue to my taking issue with his wife's hypocrisy on "free speech." I'm all for criticizing shit one doesn't like. But don't run around telling people they should or should not communicate in a certain way while claiming to be a defender of free speech; that's hypocrisy. Embrace your inner critic, and throw the free speech idiot-identity under the bus!)

Enough of that, though. What really drives my mentioning this batshit crazy stuff is the reference to "Rapper Delight." Wassamatter Mrs. Palin? Was Blondie's Rapture too disco-ish? Was Ice, Ice Baby, just too whitewashed even for you?

Sheee-it. I graduated high school in the Greater NYC area back in 1980. I remember dancing my young ass to Kurtis Blow and The Sugarhill Gang back in the original day. And to call that rap is technically not incorrect, but that is to rap what the earliest Ragtime is to Jazz. It's more the precursor than the real thing. In this day and age, mentioning Rapper's Delight as your street cred for being a rap fan is as square as saying you love Fats Waller, to prove to the the Acid Jazz kids that you are hip.

And that is where I am going here. And remember long time readers, and for you short timers, I'm the guy more likely to go to see an opera than a Hip Hop show, but shit, I know how square Mrs. Palin outed her self as, then. But with her we have the quintessentially unhip and clueless conservative. Culturally and musically she's as paleolithic as the Stone Age. Remember. This is the snow billy who made her real tastes show when caught on cam singing along to Gretchen Wilson performing Redneck Woman.

Now is the world of culture and music so stratified that one can't be a fan of real Hip Hop and redneck anthems? Perhaps not as a hard and fast rule, but Mrs. Palin proves how long a trip that is.

Now Mrs. Palin. Listen up. Despite the fact I got a top score on some Internet old school rap knowledge test, I am far from being really in the know for Hip Hop. My current usable data base sorta peters out in the mid to late 1990's. but I know "50 Cent," is still hot. Russel Simmons is still actively a force in the Biz. Despite having his fingers in every kind of business imaginable, I would not count Puff Daddy out. But Jay-Z is a living legend. And the old school (not ancient but merely old school) gangstas who have survived are now movie and TV stars. And I don't mean niche market. Ice-T's been on Law and Order for over 10 years, now, and Ice Cube's a one man Hollywood Franchise. And let us not forget Snoop Dog. Who in America doesn't know Snoop Dog?

And you, Mrs. Palin, when thinking about what song gives you street cred as a rap fan, go back to the pre MTV days and dig out Rapper's Delight?

You would have done better to mention Amy Poehler's (award winning) Palin Rap. I mean REALLY! You were there in the studio, on the stage for the national debut of that joint. And it was only written like three years or so ago. Not more than thirty. And it has way more edge than Rapper's Delight, even if still a clean rap. Shit. Even the unaired hard one was still clean enough for TV, never mind the one that aired.

But ya. I am not a liberal because I am scared of being seen with the un cool kids. I'm a cool kid to start. That's a small part of why I am a liberal.

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