Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I'm Bored With Politics, 'Cause the Rapture is Happening on Saturday.

One of the two ideas in that sentence is basically true. I'm sorta bored with politics for the instant moment. So let's talk rapture.

Firstly, I commend those opportunistic souls who have already launched schemes to make some money off this silly shit. It's too late for me, but anyone who wants to sign over material assets, cash, securities, bonds and any other thing of value with free and clear title to me, drop me a message. Oh. And that reminds me that I should check to see if a holographic will sent via the Internet is valid in most US courts. It's been years and years since I took Estate Planning.

Beyond that? It's not so much that I want to, that I take great pleasure in mocking those of faith, but like I told my niece on facebook yesterday. By my count, this is likely my third, end of the world. The first that I recall at least was 1974. I marked the occasion by having my first cigarette. I was 12 at the time. That was the big risk pre-disaster move for me. Now? Imagine me shrugging my shoulders. Maybe I'll run around the house with scissors.

I'll stop there, but to say I read most of the Left Behind series. Silly-assed shit. Oh. One thing more? Glenn Beck's rally in Jerusalem? If the believers are right and that city is holy to God, that's the day people might want to stay indoors and pray. Then again, God is supposed to be able to strike with precision. Or maybe instead of wrath, God can give Beck a brain, and a conscience. Make that a very guilty one!

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