Friday, June 22, 2007


This is a slang term (descriptive/insult hybrid variety) with out clear definition.

Some say it is a weak person. Some say it describes people who are "incredibly annoying" and/or "stupid, intellectually challenged or mentally deranged but less than clinically insane. Someone who is unintelligently lying or scamming. Someone who is arrogant, elitist or snobby. Someone whom you don't like. Someone who is socially inept. Someone who you think is mentally challenged ."

My classification and quantification?

I say that the parts above that I bolded are the core of the idea, with the addition of the following (I will make a synthesized declaration, for clarity's sake.)

A douchebag is an incredibly annoying and emotionally imbalanced person, who may be of average or even above average intelligence on paper, but who's emotional instability can make them appear to be no smarter than a bucket full of hair. Their emotional dysfunction is usually so acute, that they can at best be considered only sub-marginally socially functional. It is very likely that any douchebag suffers from a psychiatric dysfunction, particulary ADD/ADHD, any of several of the Axis II Personality Disorders, or Bi-polar Disorder. If they have been diagnosed, it is likely that they are either (a) off their meds, or (b) never actually started taking their meds.

What seperates a douchebag from a garden variety asshole? Most assholes are not 24/7 assholes. Everyone can have an "asshole moment," or even an "asshole day." But a douchebag is the kind of grotesque excuse for a human who not only is fairly, at least, if not well aware of their anti-social, annoying and emotionally-toxic behaviour, but embraces the reality of their grotesque-ness (somewhat, at least).

In short, they are not only aware of it, but are well-pleased by how offensive they are (some of the time. Other times, they just don't care one way or the other.)

Not only do they suck the very air out of a room, but they get a sick sense of satisfaction from doing so. For example, consider a person who passes a particularly noxious bit of gas. If the person in question is relatively well adjusted (normal), they will be embarassed. However the douchebag is not. Instead of thinking about how embarassed they are, the douchebag will be thinking something like,"Oh ya, they have to deal with me now. GOOD!"

That is the essense of being a douchebag:

being a selfish, obnoxious git, and loving every stinking minute of it.


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