Reaffirmation
I will try to be more patient. I need to be more patient. I can't expect what I want just because I want it.
Some people get that in life. I might have used to get that (once upon a time, but that time is long, long gone, history.)
Not me, not any more, I have no reason to consider that as being a reasonable expectation.
I will focus the attention I used to place on that, in wanting the world to be more accomodating to my wishes, into myself and my own need to be more patient; and to try to keep myself from entertaining any illusions about the world and my (ittybitty insignificant) place in it.
Oh, and in hitting the lottery. I am way over due for a good hit. But I really don't put much effort into that. I just buy my few tickets a week and just hope the Gods upon Mount Olympus, for whom my misadventures have provided hours and hours of fine aumsement, decide it is going to be in their self interest and endless quest for their own amusement, that I elevate myself to the monied class.
But I am not expecting it. But hey, that is the one dream I have left!
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